Have you ever felt a stirring in your soul that you just can’t shake? Like you know that God is calling you in a certain direction but you are too scared to follow?
For as long as I can remember, adoption has been something that has been in the back of my mind and in my heart. I don’t know why, but it just always has. I just always brushed it off and didn’t really think too hard about it. I think it’s amazing, wonderful, and selfless and the people who pursue adoption are truly angels. But that’s them. Not me. Or is it?
I felt the first real urge for adoption when I was pregnant with Hayden. Seems like kind of a strange time to have adoption on your mind, but it was. I brought it up to Robbie and his response was “Why would we adopt a child when we already know we can have our own.” Not surprised by that. I mean really, it does make sense in the close-minded, human, logical way we all normally think. But I disagreed and left it at that.
Then a co-worker on campus told me about how he and his wife were in the process of adopting a baby from Ethiopia and he shared so many life-altering facts with me about hunger and poverty and how many orphans there are and my heart just sank. God was definitely at work in that conversation. I’ve been following their journey, praying for them, and waiting with them as they press on in the process of bringing their child home.
And now I’m pregnant again and adoption has been on my heart more than ever.
A couple weeks ago I came across this video completely randomly and I sobbed and prayed so hard.
If you have 8 minutes, please do yourself a favor and watch it.
And during our chapel service on campus last week. The presenter shared her story of how she came to truly know the love that Christ has for us after she and her husband decided to adopt a precious little girl from Rwanda. She prayed for 15 months that the Lord mesh her spirit with her baby’s spirit. A baby she didn’t know anything about and hadn’t ever seen. She prayed that when her baby was tired, sad, lonely, or happy that the Lord place her spirit with her. When she finally got to meet her baby, the baby was screaming and crying and the second that she got to hold her she stopped. She rested her head on her heart and stopped crying. She was finally home. How amazing is this? What a testimony of God’s love for us.
Why now? Why when I’m pregnant? Is it hormones? Is God using this baby as a reminder of the stirring he has placed inside of me? I have no idea, but I can’t shake the thought that the Lord has called us to adopt. When? How? Where? Why? So many unknowns, but I can tell you this. I will be fervently praying that if this truly is a path that He wants us to go down that He will have to move many mountains.
A husband that has no desire to adopt. Finances. Logistics. The list is endless. But I know that we serve a Mighty God and if He really desires this for our lives then it will happen. Maybe all of this is to just open my eyes to the need that is out there and to help others see it as well. Or maybe it is really for us to adopt one day. Either way my prayer is for the Lord to do His work in me.